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The Criterion List

 As part of our production of 'Every Brilliant Thing' which ran from August 31st to September 7th 2024, we asked the Criterion community to get engaged and send us your own brilliant things. 

And you did! In fact, we had some 400 list entries submitted. You may have been lucky enough to have had yours read out by the narrator during one of the seven performances. 

We thought it would be another very brilliant thing to be able to share these with you all so, here is the complete list, compiled diligently by one of our Heads of Props, Erica Young. This comprises the items in the script and said either by the narrator or by the audience, and also the items generated by cast, crew and audience.

There are roughly 500 items on the list, so actually only 0.05% of the million brilliant things that were talked about.

We hope that they fill you with joy.

With much love,

The Creative Team of 'Every Brilliant Thing'.

Key: Bold text: taken from the script

1            Ice cream

2            Water fights

3            Staying up past your bedtime and being allowed to watch TV

4            The colour yellow

5            Things with stripes

6            Roller coasters

7            People falling over

8            Juice

9            Orange Club biscuits

10          Kind old people who aren't weird and don't smell unusual

11          Bed

12          Climbing trees

13          The raspberries you eat when you're meant to be picking them for jam

14          Eating peas from the pod

15          building with Lego

16          Getting the giggles

17          The Clangers

18          Watching Jim'll Fix It

19          That eight-week school summer holiday we used to have

20          Roller skating

21          Having a Chopper bike

22          Having the Action Man with the parachute

23          Bagpuss

24          Spaghetti Bolognese

25          Wearing a cape

26          Peeing in the sea and nobody knows?

27          Building sandcastles

28          Playing conkers

29          Playing with a Slinky on the stairs

 

31          Bird song

45          Hugging

180        Scoring a treble treble twenty at darts

201        Hammocks

210        The pleasure of a table full of guests falling silent as they enjoy eating the food you have prepared for them

313        Having a piano in the kitchen

314        The way Ray Charles sings the word ‘you’

315        The smell of old books

316        John McEnroe

317        The even numbered Star Trek films

318        Burning things

319        Laughing so hard you shoot milk out of your nose

320        Making up after an argument

324        Nina Simone's voice

341        Alcohol

342        Looking at clouds across a landscape and knowing that the formations you see will never be seen again

343        Archbishop Desmond Tutu

427        Golden runny yolks when cracking a boiled egg

428        Being born in God's own county (Yorkshire)

429        A fantastic sneeze

516        Winning something

517        Knowing someone well enough to get them to check your teeth for broccoli.

518        When idioms coincide with real life occurrences, for instance: waking up, realising something and simultaneously smelling coffee

521        The word ‘plinth’

522        Being able to say ‘I was there’ about Live Aid

523        Witnessing an eclipse

524        Making the first footprints on a sandy beach after the tide goes out             

525        The ‘play with songs’, ‘Midsummer’

575        Piglets

577        Tea and biscuits

654        Marlon Brando

715        Honey

716        Standing at the edge of a cliff and worrying everyone, when you know that you won't fall

717        Growing the tallest sunflower

718        Dippy eggs and soldiers

719        Bubble bath

720       Going to the fun fair

721        Making someone smile

722        Someone making you smile

723        Wearing only a sarong, day in, day out

724        Travelling down the Mekong

725        Finishing the Daily Telegraph crossword in a personal best time

727        ‘Hi ho silver lining’ playing at the end of the disco and all dancing the silly dance

728        Going so high on a swing that it feels like you might go right over the top

729        Eating mango in the bath

730        The first snowdrop of spring

731        A hot drink after a cold swim

732        Gin and tonic (artisan, small batch gin, obviously, darling)

733        The first swallow of summer

734        A baby holding your finger

735        Successfully changing a new-fangled nappy

736        A kebab on Earlsdon Street, when there was salad waiting at home

737        Pistachio ice cream

738        Trees

739        Fresh figs

740        Listening to Mozart’s clarinet concerto

741        Curling up in front of an open fire

742        Picking tomatoes and eating them fresh from the vine

743        The smell of freshly cut hay

744        Anticipating what someone else needs and handing it to them almost before they know that they need it

745        Having a long, long hug, and holding each other while the world seems to stand still

746        Throwing a double six

747        The sound of a skylark singing

748        Watching a skylark do a vertical take-off and then hover high up

749        When a child proudly shows off a missing tooth in a gappy grin

750        Seeing someone achieving the success that they have worked for and deserve

751        The satisfying squelch of your boots on a muddy walk

752        Marvelling that a bumble bee can fly

753        Puffins

754        Ice cold beer drunk outside in the sunshine on a hot day

755        Finishing a long mountain walk and enjoying a sit down and a pint of bitter

756        Watching shaggy Highland cattle cool off by paddling in a loch

757        Children growing their imaginations by playing make believe games

758        Throwing off the shackles of adulthood and acting like a child again

759        Shamelessly enjoying the children's sweets at a wedding reception and gleefully filling a paper bag with all your favourites

760        Inviting someone to tell you their story and delighting in learning more about them

761        Deciding you’re not too old to climb trees

762        Someone remembering, and using, your name

763        Rainbows, especially when you can see both ends

764        Kittens playing, and then crashing out and sleeping

765        Oak trees that are older than anyone now alive

766        Wearing your favourite pair of jeans

767        Seeing the Northern Lights

768        Eating cold baked beans straight from the tin

769        Kissing under the mistletoe

770        The weight of a sleeping child on your lap

771        Watching fabulous theatre that makes you think and question things

772        The Archers omnibus on catch up

773        A nice pint and a fag … mmm….

774        Proper Yorkshire pudding cooked in beef dripping

775        A bacon sandwich cooked outside on a Primus stove

776        Climbing into bed between freshly laundered sheets

777        A field of sunflowers all facing the sun

778        When that seed comes up and you grow your own flowers

779        Being present for the birth of a child

780        Time away on holiday with your family

781        Freshly baked bread

782        A really good slide

783        A warm day when you can leave the house in shorts and T-shirt

784        Breaking in a brand-new notebook

785        Dancing with someone you love

786        Going to the coast and breathing in and out to the rhythm of the waves

787        Opening the dishwasher, to find that someone else has already put it all away

788        Giving someone a present that is so perfect that it makes them cry

789        Discovering that ‘orchestra’ is an anagram of ‘carthorse’

790        That quiet time, late evening, when you put the world to rights over a session in the hot tub

791        Looking for something you have lost, and not finding that, but finding something else that you had also lost

792        A really cold glass of Sauvignon blanc

793        The love and friendship of our family at the Criterion Theatre

794        Knowing that you have friends who have your back

795        Love, gratitude, laughter, sleep, education, family, friends, health, hugs, purpose, positivity, joy and love

796        Being with people whom you share a passion with

797        Hopeful shoots growing from the stump of the felled Sycamore Gap tree

798        A BBQ with Uncle Neil

799        Hysterically laughing with someone and you keep trying to stop, then one of you starts laughing again and sets it back off

823        Skinny dipping

824        Knowing that there's a spare loo roll to hand

992        Knowing to jangle keys at the wildlife park if you want the otters to come out

993        Having dessert as a main course

994        Hairdressers who listen to what you want

995        Bubble wrap

996        Really good oranges

997        Cycling downhill

998        Aromatic duck pancakes with Hoisin sauce

999        Sunlight

1000     When someone lends you books

1001     When someone actually reads the books you give them

1002     When you learn something about someone that surprises you but which makes complete sense

1003     Realising that for the first time in your life someone is occupying your every waking thought, making it hard to eat or sleep or concentrate, and that they feel familiar to you even though they're brand new

1004     Finding an opportunity to say this in a way which doesn't involve being in the same room at the same time, as we're both shy and terrified of rejection and if I don't say something now, it'll never happen

1005     Writing about yourself in the Third Person

1006     Surprises

1007     The fact that sometimes there is a perfect song to match how you're feeling

1008     Dancing in private

1009     Dancing in public, fearlessly

1010     Reading something which articulates exactly how you feel but lacked the words to express yourself

1092     Conversation

1150      A small jewel like flower that shines beyond its size

1151      Variegated shades of dappled green filtering sunlight through the undersides of sycamores

1152      Henry Cavill

1153      A cold bedroom and a warm bed

1154      The first coffee of the day

1155      A good, squishy stress ball

1156      My other half

1157      My mum’s perfume

1158      Being transported by music to another age

1159     The freedom and joy of cycling naked

1160     Peeling off a sheet of wallpaper in one intact piece

1161      Getting back to the team you had to leave behind and missed so much. Bliss

1201      A real fire

1202      Wearing your favourite jeans

1203      A Sunday morning swim in the river Avon with good friends

1204      Dolphins riding the bow wave of your boat

1205      The sound of a baby's laugh

1206      A dram of single malt whisky - Scottish of course

1427     Not worrying about how much money you're spending on holiday because all international currency looks like Monopoly money

1654     Christopher Walken's voice

1655     Christopher Walken's hair

1857     Planning a declaration of love

2000     Coffee

2001     Films that are better than the books they’re adapted from

2002     Seeing someone make it onto the train just as the doors are closing, making eye-contact and sharing in this little victory

2003     This song. Especially the drums on this track. The single ends at around 4 minutes but the album version continues for another 5 minutes and has the most insane drums. In fact...

2004     Any song with an extended drum break involving a full kit, bongos and cowbell, have you heard ‘I'm a Man’ by Chicago?

2005     ‘I'm a Man’ by Chicago.

2006     Vinyl records. I'm not being pretentious, the sound quality is better, it isn't compressed and it's tactile, you get to feel the weight of it in your hands. You can't skip like with CDs or MP3s, you listen through to the entire album. Dad’s room had records on every surface and I loved the gatefold sleeves, the artwork, I love reading through the acknowledgments and the sleeve notes, the story of the making of the object.

2007      Scones with jam, and then clotted cream on top

2008     Seeing a flash of blue by a river and realising that it's a kingfisher

2009      Baked Camembert

2010      My next-door neighbours

2011      When your cat insists on making friends with the person who hates cats

2012      When your dog insists on making friends with the person who hates dogs

2013     Stick insects. Why, God. Why?

2014      Freshly milled black pepper

2015      Finding a new author to enjoy and realising how many books they have written

2016      Finding a use for a scrappy bit of paper

2017      Islands small enough to walk right round

2018      Still enjoying The Lord of the Rings however many times you've read it already

2019     The infinite number of shades of green in an English wood

2304      Receiving your first Valentine's card

2389     Badgers

2390     People who can't sing but either don't know or don't care

3100      Shared memories

3101      Making friends with someone you didn't take to on first meeting

3102     The smell of freshly laid tarmac

3103     Your first bike for Christmas

3104      Getting to call someone to tell them ‘You got the job!’

3105     Fluffy puppies

3106     Sausages. You can eat them hot or cold and they are great for breakfast, lunch or an evening meal

3107      Holding hands

3108      Tracing a raindrop down the car window

3109      Butter melting into an English muffin

3110      When someone says they’re proud of you

3111      A pair of comfy shoes that also look good

3112      A Santorini sunset

3113      A baby wrapping their hand round your finger

3114      Finding a ladybird on you

3115      Staring into a painting and losing yourself in it

3116      Tom Daley’s abs.

3117      Keeping your child’s first artwork for ever

3118      The skin on a baked rice pudding

3119      Learning that the collective noun for otters is a ‘romp of otters’

3120      That teacher, who believed in you and helped you to believe in yourself

3121      A friend that you can pick up with where you left off, even if you haven’t seen them for years and years

3122      Petrichor

3123      Being the only people on a beach

3124      Finding out whodunnit

3125      Black and white mints - the Lancashire sort

3126      Being welcomed when you arrive

3127      Sherbert lemons

3128      Books, books, books, books, BOOKS

3129      Spending time with your dead wife, in your dreams

4217      The smell of a new car

4218      Standing watching and listening to a waterfall

4219      A new book being published by your favourite author

4220      The way Paul Robeson sang ‘Old Man River’

4221      Singing ‘Old Man River’ in the style of Paul Robeson

4222      Your team winning on penalties

4223      Coconut macaroons

4225      The way ink flows from a fountain pen

4224     The pop of a champagne cork

4226      Candlelight

4227     Michael Johnson's voice

4228      Hitting the bullseye

4229      Seeing the pyramids at Giza for the first time

4230      The view from the top of the Empire State Building

4231      Visiting Venice and finding it as amazing as you hoped it would be

4232      Walking in a bluebell wood in the spring

4233      A mug of cocoa on a cold winter's night

4234      Making snow angels

4235     Singing in the rain and throwing a few dance moves

4236      Cheese fondue

4237      Driving in an open topped car and feeling the wind in your hair

4238      The smell of a cigar even though you don't actually smoke

4239     Telling the time with a dandelion clock

4240      The colour pink

4241      Being able to remember that ‘gato’ is Italian for ‘cat,’ by visualising a cat with a cake

4242      Finding a dock leaf when you've had a nettle sting

4997     Gifts you actually want and didn't ask for

4998     Falling asleep as soon as you get on a plane, waking up when you land and feeling like a time- traveller

5001      The NHS - and the medication you need to stay well

5002      The company of friends whilst exploring our glorious country

5003      Being invited to tell your story by someone who then actually listens to what you say

5004      Listening to the rain in the night, when you are warm and cosy

5005      An old friend's wicked laugh echoing down the phone

5006      Friends send you flowers, totally out of the blue

5007      Mmmm Momos, when you have been craving Momos…

5008      A light breeze on a newly shaven head feels amazing

5009      It's amazing when you are told to eat all the things you've spent your life avoiding, because they're fattening and bad for you

5010     Rain when it's humid

5011     The first bite of a freshly baked blueberry muffin

5012      When you discover that your 12-year-old great nephew is possessed of a very active social conscience, has deep wells of love and compassion and is his own true self. There is hope.

5013      Waking naturally, curtains wide open, to the glorious light of a summer day

5014      Lying in bed watching the dawn breaking, bringing a fresh start

5015      Today, right now, at this minute, I feel fine. And that is wonderful.

5016      Watching a squirrel enjoying the very first of the hazelnuts. Do young, unripe nuts taste very different?

5018      Dozing in the garden as her family

5019      Interesting food

5020     Having a bath for the first time in three weeks!

5021      The bliss of waking up to the realisation that today you feel better

5022      An unexpected visit from an old friend, bearing flowers

5023      Steroids make you hungry! Ate lots and enjoyed it

9993     dreams of flying

9994     friendly cats

9995     falling in love

9996     sex

9997     being cooked for

9998     watching someone watching your favourite film

9999     staying up all night talking

10,000 waking up late with someone you love

11000   Spending time with grandchildren

11001   Mum's strawberry crumble and custard - amazing

11002   The smell of roasting coffee beans

11003   Really tangy mature cheddar cheese

11004   English strawberries

11005   Falling asleep the minute after you get into bed 

11006   The house lights going down to black at the theatre

11007   A full stomach

11008   The eradication of smallpox

11009   A newly finished painting

11010   A cloudless bright blue sky

11011   The way hearing an old song can take you straight back to a happy childhood moment

11013   Having a lie in

11014   Enjoying a good book

11015   Eczema treatment

11016   The birth of my first grandchild

11017   Drinking from the wrong side of the glass to cure hiccups

11018   Getting every answer right on the game show you're watching

11019   Finding acceptance in your second family

11020   Walking my daughter up the aisle

11021   Tigers coming off the endangered list

11022   The sound of just-hatched chicks welcoming their breakfast delivery

11023   Exploring the rock pools on the beach with my dad, why my mum and sister did boring sunbathing

11024   The first bulbs to poke their heads through the soil after a cold winter, to show you that spring is on the way

11025   A baby’s smile followed by their gorgeous giggles

11026   Waking up before your alarm and realising that you still have another two hours in bed

11027   New shoes

11028   Hitting the top of the wave as it breaks and it taking you 7 feet in the air

11029   The sound of heavy rain on your conservatory roof

11030   The taste of wine

11031   Taking your bra off at the end of a long day

11032   Waking up after a good night's sleep

11033   The Repair Shop TV show

11034   Listening to my happy playlist

11035   Payday

11036   Waking up to sunshine

11037   The sound of the waves and the smell of the sea

11038   Going on holiday

11039   Coventry City scoring at football (rare but brilliant)

11040   Hearing that your friend is cancer free

11041   Listening to my favourite playlist on repeat, for weeks

11042   Finally cracking the plot of something you're writing

11043   Finally memorising lines you've struggled with for weeks

11044   Being on stage with my favourite people

11045   Chest binders

11046   Adopting a teddy bear which otherwise would be homeless

11047   Crunching dry leaves under your feet and they have that perfect CHREOWWWCH noise

11048   Learning that the fault on your car is covered by the warranty

11049   The beginning of a romance, where everything shimmers

12513   Looking at the stars in a really dark sky, and then seeing the stars between the stars

14271   Spotting a chameleon

14272   Snowflakes

20202   Taking a trip with a can of CBD-infused fizzy pop

20203   Feeding the goats at the farm park and the gentle way they take the food out of your hand

33100   Watching a squirrel beat a maze

33101   Getting Wordle in three

33102   Zip wiring nearly a mile in under a minute in Wales

33103   Driving away from home on the first day of a holiday

33104   Singing along to ‘One More Day’ from Les Mis

33105   Listening to the second side of Abbey Road

33106   Joining in with Bohemian Rhapsody at the Criterion’s Christmas party

33107   Lip syncing ‘What an idiot’ with Hermione in the first Harry Potter movie

33108   Watching an otter family playing in the early morning

33109   Hair straighteners

33110   Getting a proper laugh in your Best Man speech

33111   Holding your grandchild for the first time. Anytime, actually

33112   Seeing your granddaughter's reaction when she notices that you've come to visit

33113   Eating an oyster

33114   That moment when Del Boy falls through the bar

33115   French motorways

33116   Fresh croissants

33117   Floating on your back in the sea and enjoying the buoyancy of salt water

33118   Revisiting old friends in the National Gallery

33119   Revisiting favourite pictures in the Musee d’Orsay

33120   Walking alongside the River Seine

33121   Seeing Ben Nevis from the Loch Eil Road

33122   An unexpected but welcome hug

33123   Someone discovering an unexpected royal ancestor on ‘Who do you think you are?’

33124   enjoying the same old plot trajectory on Death in Paradise

33125   Unexpectedly being met at the station and not having to walk home, after all

33126   Seeing your ‘Strictly’ favourite win the glitterball

33127   Walking on newly fallen powder snow

33128   Putting the final piece in a 1000-piece jigsaw

33129   Getting your puppy to come back to you when you call them

33130   Coming home late and finding someone has cooked dinner for you

42351   This chocolate

51000   That feeling of being in a sea of people singing and dancing along to that music or that beat

51001   Having some private space

51002   Clear, frosty weather

51003   Mending something you thought was unmendable

51004   A cuddle after making love

51005   Watching butterflies flit about the garden from flower to flower on a sunny day

51006   Throwing yourself into the mosh pit at a gig where your favourite band are playing

51007   The smell of brewing hops on a damp, foggy November evening in Edinburgh

51008   Sunday roast with all the trimmings, best enjoyed with family

51009   Getting to wear a sarong all day

51010   The sound of children laughing and playing

51011   Forming deep connections with others

51012   My son, and Fenerbahce

51013   Love, in all its forms

51014   Having opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery

51015   Having a secret fag that your significant other doesn't know about

51016   Children's TV shows that are still good - if not better - as an adult

51017   The delightful sound after rain of droplets of water falling from the leaves of trees and the fairy light effect of the raindrops twinkling in the sunshine

51018   Seeing your first seedlings come through in spring

51019   Catching someone's eye when you want to laugh but know you mustn't

51020   A peaceful day's County cricket at Edgbaston

51021   Learning about a burger for the road

51022   Hang Gliding

51023   Finding the perfect translation for a passage in a book you're reading

51024   Getting to spend time in my happy place

51025   When you wake up thinking it's a workday then realise it's Saturday

51026   Learning a new skill

51027   Theatre in the round

51028   Just friendship 

91427   A poke of chips with salt and vinegar

123321 Palindromes

253263 The feeling of calm which follows the realisation that, although you may be in a regrettable situation, there's nothing you can do about it

312444 Egyptian cotton bed sheets

312446 Swedish salty liquorice

312447 Brian May's hair

312448 Scampi and chips

312449 Hot smoked salmon

312450 That sense of relief when you thought you were lost, but find your way again

312451 That sensation when a plane takes off

312453 Finding that a poolside sun lounger is free

312454 Partying until the sun comes up

312455 Reading ‘50 Shades of Grey’ on your iPad on the train and nobody knowing what you're reading

312456 Getting the exam grades that you needed

312457 Getting through to the GP on the phone before they run out of appointments

312458 The smell of a sweaty horse

312459 ‘Ghosts’ - the UK version not the US

312460 Visiting Paris

312461 Listening to your cat purring

312462 Marmite

312463 Seeing goldfinches on your bird feeder

312464 The feel of silk on your skin

312465 Oversized T-shirts

312466 Taking your high heels off when you get home after a night out

312467 Saving three match points and going on to win

312468 Plain chocolate Magnum ice creams

312469 Really sharp kitchen knives

312470 ‘Rumours’ by Fleetwood Mac

312471 ‘Brothers in Arms’ by Dire Straits

312472 Monet's paintings of Rouen Cathedral

312473 Raindrops on roses

312474 Warm woollen mittens

312475 Schnitzel with noodles

312477 Sunset on a tropical island

312478 The ticking of a grandfather clock

312479 Getting tickets for Glastonbury

312480 The first cup of tea in the morning

312481 Nelson's column

312482 Looking down from the top of the Eiffel Tower

312483 Visiting your grandparents in Blackpool and going to the penny arcade

312484 Straw hats

312485 The full moon

312486 Lying on your back on a beach and looking up at the sky

312487 Orangutans

312488 Silk underwear

312489 Bare feet on wet grass

312490 Putting down your phone and talking face to face

312491 Meeting someone you love at the airport

312492 Looking out across the frozen Arctic Ocean and thinking how beautiful the ice is, and seeing the blue of the glacier, and thinking it doesn't matter if you don't see any polar bears because it's all just so breathtakingly lovely. And then seeing your first wild polar bear

312493 Christmas crackers

312495 ice cold milk

312496 Pepperoni pizza

312497 The way Lou Reed sings ‘Perfect Day’

312498 Chilled rice pudding

312499 Dancing the Gay Gordons down the middle of the street

312500 That intense physical awareness of another person

312501 Greek yoghurt with honey

312502 Getting your book published

312503 Galloping a horse along a beach while singing the Chariots of Fire theme

312504 Flying a kite

312505 Drifting over the English countryside in a hot air balloon

312506 Unexpectedly smelling honeysuckle while walking in the countryside

312507 Candy floss

312509 Snorkelling over a coral garden

312510 The atmosphere at a really big sporting fixture

312511 Learning that someone you care about is going to be OK, after they've been really ill, and you thought they might die

312512 Seeing your best friend fall in love

312513 The smell of freshly cut lavender

312514 Watching a lava lamp

312515 Having a pedicure

312516 Dyeing your hair an outrageous colour

312517 That first bacon buttie when you give up on vegetarianism

312518 Puffins

321123 Cheese and pineapple on sticks

412412 The word punnet

512375 Seeing your parents living their best life in what used to be called retirement

525924 Track seven on every great record

714192 Feeling a baby move inside you

714193 Scallops and black pudding with apple sauce

714194 That sketch with Morecambe and Wise and André Previn

714195 ‘Don't tell him, Pike’

714196 When flowers are delivered, and you have no idea who they are from until you open the card

714197 Homemade butter shortbread

714198 Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, and the wet shirt moment

714199 Landing on Saint Kilda

714200 Flowers blooming in the cracks of a pavement

714201 Watching a lion cub stalk its dad

714202 Unconditional friendship

714203 Penguin chicks

714204 Realising that someone understands what makes you tick

714205 Seeing that a small act of kindness has made a big difference

742137 Recognising that life isn't all about Amazon and that there are still independent sellers with original products

777777 The prospect of dressing up as a Mexican wrestler

999997 The alphabet

999998 Inappropriate songs played at emotional moments

999999 Completing a task

1000000 Listening to a record for the first time. Turning it over in your hands, placing it on the deck and putting the needle down, hearing the faint hiss and crackle of the sharp metal point on the wax before the music begins, then sitting and listening while reading through the sleeve notes

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